Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mercy House Santa Ana Cold Weather Emergency Shelter

I honestly dont even know where to start this blog entry.

This was my first time volunteering at the shelter.  I have seen this shelter for a few years - driving home from work - now and when I worked at Ambrosia.  So far, I have done drop offs only of items I have collected from people (mainly my parents friends, and a couple of mine).  So I would pull in, see the people in line, empty my car, and leave.  Tonight was the first time I was inside the Armory to volunteer.  I was in awe.  No pictures were allowed, per the Armory so I was not able to capture what I saw.  However, it will FOREVER be in my memory.

The trunk full of clothes I brought in were taken to the back, and separated by size, mens, womens, etc.  They were set out on tables for people to go through.  Everyone was allowed to take two items.  Some of the women were really excited to get a cute jacket.  There were two women who talked to me, and told me outrageous stories.  One woman told me how she has died, and come back, and was paralyzed and had cancer, I didnt hear everything she was saying - but I just listened and shook my head and comforted her.  Thats all she wanted. Her name was Connie and she asked me to pray for her.  So I did.  And you should too.  Just because.  She asked and she needs it. The other woman had some mental problems, and was telling me all of the different places she went, and how she saw kids she knew were hers everywhere... my heart broke for these people.  Everyone was so thankful and a few people said God Bless You, which made me feel good.  They were so thankful.

The hard part was there were hardly any mens items.  So most of the men didnt get anything.  A lot of people just wanted a pair of socks. And I didnt even have that to give them - it was heart breaking.
There were two blankets I had brought in today, and I didnt see who took the one - but it was a colorful knitted blanket... and the person went to their mat and laid down under it and went to sleep.  That blanket, and the clothes on their back were the only things that person owned.  They had not one thing else.

Other volunteers laid down mats on the floor.  Thin, twin size mats.  They mopped them down, then sprayed them with lysol.  Flipped them and did the same thing.  The mats were lined up - next to each other - touching - in rows of probably 20 or more, and about 3 deep.  No personal space.  Everyone came in, put what they owned on their mat, and just did their thing.  People knew each other from being in the shelter together and there was some friendly chatter. 

There were people in there wearing pants that were so small they couldnt button or zip them.  There were a few pregnant girls.  There seemed to be a group of younger (mid-late 20s) kids that all hung around together, happy to see each other at the end of another day.  A very small few seemed intoxicated, but no one was really out of control. Only one outburst from one female happened - apparently someone was touching her stuff.

When everyone arrived, popcorn was served.  Then dinner was brought in and served - rice and beans and tortillas, I believe from a Temple down the street - I do not know what kind of Temple - Indian perhaps?  Peruvian?  Pardon my ignorance.  They also had coffee and juice, until it ran out.  Volunteering was over after dinner was served and cleaned up... and I waited until a few people left, as they advise you not to walk out to your car alone.

I am not even covering half of what I experienced... and I dont even know that I could ever put it into words.  I truly am thankful that I have parents that would never let me get to this point in life.  I will always have a roof over my head, and tonight showed me just how lucky I am.  And thankful.  Listening to peoples conversations, like a woman saying her son just got an apartment with his girlfriend, two bedrooms, and he will not let her stay there... broke my heart.  It all broke my heart.  

I really want to continue to collect items, as many as I can for this shelter.  PLEASE, look in your closet, look in your drawers, just look... jackets, socks, shoes (boots and tennis shoes), pants, sweaters, long sleeve shirts... anything anyone can wear in this cold weather... they have nothing.  If you can part with it, please do.  I will collect it from you.  I am volunteering again (I dont remember when) but I would LOVE to bring car loads of items OFTEN to this shelter.  It is so needed.  I will beg if I have to... please :)

  

Monday, January 9, 2012

Mercy House Cold Shelter Delivery, Take 2

My drop off of everything went well today...

It's becoming the norm for me to leave there in tears. Tonight, for the first time this year... I saw kids in the line. I will be honest, a lot of times I look away before I see any. Today it was so crowded I couldn't help it.

I dropped off a lot of stuff and another family was dropping off bags of stuff as well. This weekend I am actually volunteering at the shelter. I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time. It makes me so sad.

This ended up being about half of what I had. (I took the picture then kept collecting before I finally made it over there). I had a bag with a blanket and sleeping bag, another blanket, a few more clothes, some diapers and more toiletries.  I am excited for Sunday, to be inside the Armory and Shelter and to see exactly what these donations are doing.  

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Heartbroken

I can tell you the last time I actually felt my heart break.
It was on April 10, 2010 when Kahlua died.
Until today.
I literally felt my heart break when I was turned away at the Mercy House Cold Weather Shelter - because they are closed tonight.  The Armory needed the location for training.  
While this probably doesnt sound like a big deal, what actually broke my heart was seeing people lined up along the fence where they usually wait to get in.  Laying down on the sidewalk, sleeping were what looked like two young military men.  They were not the only two in line, but they were the two that just made me feel horribly heartbroken.  I dont know their story of course, and I dont know if they are military men, I know nothing of course.  I really wanted to give the first guy in line a blanket that I have in my trunk, on top of the other stuff I have to donate.  I pulled out of the parking lot and I started to cry - and I havent stopped yet.  I drove in a circle, and then I drove home.  I did not stop to give him the blanket because I felt guilty that I didnt have one for every person in that line.  I didnt want to upset anyone and I didnt want to cause a problem for the one guy if I gave only him a blanket... but I feel extremely guilty.  They probably dont know yet that they dont have a roof over their head for the night, they dont have a hot shower to take, they dont have a bed to lay down in where they can sleep in safety for the night... He had no blanket and I feel so horrible for leaving... but I didnt know what else to do.
I cant stop crying, and I seriously feel so heartbroken for everyone on that sidewalk who will be sleeping outside on this freezing cold night.  I will drop the donations off tomorrow night, but tonight, I just feel...sad.